Check This out and visit
Kickstarter.com
to help with this project
Category Archives: Personal
*I Owe My Mother…*
*I Owe My Mother…*
*********************
1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE *.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished
cleaning.”
2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next
week!”
4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC* .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the
store with me.”
6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. *My mother taught me IRONY*.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS *.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM*.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA* ..
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION *.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have
wonderful parents like you do.”
16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING *.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE*.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way.”
19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. *My mother taught me HUMOR**.*
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT *.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS*.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. *My mother taught me WISDOM*.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE*.
*”One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”*
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all-time favorite!!
*My mother taught me about CHOICE*.
“Do you want me to stop this car?”
FW: American
I received this in a email, I did edit the way it looks so it would fit here better…
Thanks
I THINK THIS GUY HAS IT ALL COVERED.
I COULDN’T SPOT ANYTHING HE LEFT OUT.
I Am the Democratic, Republican Liberal-Progressive’s Worst Nightmare.
I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, American Veteran, Gun Owning Biker. That’s me!
I am a Master Mason. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.
I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don’t push it on others.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive American-made cars, and I believe in
American products and buy them whenever I can.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some liberal governmental functionary,
Democratic or Republican, that wants to share it with others who don’t work!
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.
I believe there should be no other language option.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are Malcolm Forbes , Bill Gates , John Wayne , Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers , and
Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I’ve never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted
By the Turks, and neither have you!
I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and
Change your own country!
This is AMERICA …We like it the way it is and more so the way it was …so stop trying to
Change it to look like Russia or China , or some other socialist country!
If you were born here and don’t like it… You are free to move to any Socialist country that will
Have you. I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the Washington DC. , the seat
Of our biggest problems.
I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches,
Where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution?
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of
What color you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my driver’s license. I think it’s good….
And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money..
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who
Should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me
Into making ‘donations’ to their cause…. Get a job and do your part to support yourself and
Your family!
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents….
I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know…
We want our country back!
My Country…… I hope this offends all illegal aliens.
My great, great, great, great grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the Revolution & the War of 1812.
My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Mexican American War.
My great, great grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Civil War.
My great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Spanish-American War.
My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I.
My father watched as his friends died in WW II .
I watched as my friends died in Vietnam, Panama & Desert Storm.
My son watched & bled as his friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq .
None of them died for the Mexican Flag.
Everyone died for the American flag.
Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole,
other students took it down. Guess who was expelled…the students who took it down.
California high school students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore
T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.
Enough is enough
This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every
American needs to stand up for America.
We’ve bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I’m taking a stand.
I’m standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars forth’s country,
and for the American flag.
If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know.
I will gladly not forward things of this order.
And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.
AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS !
Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY !
This statement DOES NOT mean I’m against immigration !
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:
1. Get a sponsor !
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past !
3. Live by OUR rules !
4. Get a job !
5. Pay YOUR Taxes !
6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it !
7. NOW find a place to lay your head !
If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone,
then YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !
We’ve gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend anyone.
Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !
WAKE UP America ! ! !
If you do not Pass this on, may your fingers cramp !
Made in the U S A & PROUD OF IT!!!!!
