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Category Archives: Fun
*I Owe My Mother…*
*I Owe My Mother…*
*********************
1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE *.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished
cleaning.”
2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next
week!”
4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC* .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the
store with me.”
6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. *My mother taught me IRONY*.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS *.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM*.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA* ..
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION *.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have
wonderful parents like you do.”
16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING *.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE*.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way.”
19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. *My mother taught me HUMOR**.*
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT *.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS*.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. *My mother taught me WISDOM*.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE*.
*”One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”*
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all-time favorite!!
*My mother taught me about CHOICE*.
“Do you want me to stop this car?”
Here I am reposting a post I did last year……. It still is good
“Good night and God bless.”
Go all the way to the bottom past the pictures….. I think you’ll enjoy it. Whoever wrote totally described my childhood to a ‘T.’ Hope you enjoy it.
Black and White
Black and White (Under age 40? You won’t understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
‘Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet.’
My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting e..coli.
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
We all took gym, not PE..and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked’s (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an option… even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses?Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah… and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played ‘king of the hill’ on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn’t sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked. 
Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn’t act up at the neighbor’s house either; because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.
I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off.
Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house.
Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighbourhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were
from a dysfunctional family.
How could we possibly have known that?
We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA; AND TO ALL WHO DIDN’T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!
